Welcome to my annual end-of-year musings, a newsletter where I talk a big game dishing out advice that I don't ever use myself. A lot happened in the past year but these three things were central themes throughout 2023. If y'all don't want to read, the TLDR is below. Love you all.
TLDR
The only thing more precious than time is how we spend it.
The best way to not fall off a bike is to ride it.
Be the worst person in any room.
Shoutouts
- Make Time Wellness - Brain health for women by women. 20% off with Code QUOC20
- Ojai Mountain Estate - If you'd like to try some incredible wines and also support a project I've been a part of since its inception.
- The Million Mile Project - Lauren's non-profit helping those experiencing substance abuse disorder, pre- and post-recovery. If you haven't made your yearly charitable donations yet or feel compelled to help, please consider donating to MMP!
2023 started out rough to say the least! The year started off how 2022 ended, depressing and miserable! Some takeaways:
- Momentum goes both ways, positive and negative. If you have good momentum, keep it going! If you have bad momentum, nip that shit in the bud ASAP. How are you ending 2023 and what will you bring into '24? (It's a Kobe year and he'd never let you get away with mediocrity, just sayin.)
- Forty-six flights in 2023 reminded me that the sun always shines above the clouds. No matter how menacing the storm or how dark the clouds, when you fly high enough, the sun will be waiting for you. If you're experiencing some turbulence, buckle up and keep flying.
- Motivation is bullshit. It waxes and wanes. It gets you started but it doesn't keep you going. Dedication, on the other hand, doesn't waver.
- Show up for yourself and for others, even if you don't feel like it (thanks, Todd!). In the depths of my woes, I failed to realize that my attitude set the tone for others. When I showed up sad, depressed, and angry, I unknowingly affected you and our workouts.
"Time is free, but it is priceless. You can’t own it but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back."
HARVEY MACKAY
We say it every year...
"Can you believe the year's almost over?!" And we say it with such incredulity as if this was the first time we've ever uttered these words.
Why does time seem to move in slow motion in the first three quarters of the year but once Halloween hits, everything goes warp speed? Once Starbucks announces the annual return of their Pumpkin Spice Latte, everyone starts to panic because they realize the year is rapidly winding down. I find it so fascinating that time is not something that can be seen, heard, nor felt yet we know we are experiencing it. We all think we have more of it than we do yet no one knows how much of it we actually have. How would you live life differently if you were told you have exactly 10 years left vs. 100 years?
This may sound silly but I don’t plan on dying. Foolishly believing this, I am doing all I can to make sure that when I’m 70, 80, 90, or 100 years old that I’ll still be as capable as I was when I was in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. My 20+ years as a trainer has shown me that far too many people come to me after the fact: after they’re injured, after their surgery, after they’ve gained weight, etc. It’s unfortunate that our mindset has been conditioned to seek treatment instead of prevention; to be reactive instead of proactive when it comes to taking care of our bodies, mind, and spirit.
I know everyone ignores the preflight safety instructions but you've heard it before: "In the event of an emergency, be sure to secure your own oxygen mask first before assisting others." You can't care for the people and things in your life if you don't care for yourself first. What will caring for yourself look like in 2024?
For 2024, my wish for all of you beautiful people is to be proactive about being more proactive: not only with your health and nutrition but also with your friends and family, with your hobbies, and with your TIME. Each one of us is blessed with 24 hours in a day; no one person has more time or less time than the next. It’s what we choose to do with our time that ultimately determines what kind of life we live. Make time for yourself, you're worth it...
Which brings me to a not so shameless plug for Make Time Wellness. Growing up with three sisters and a mother who are the epitome of hardworking, I know firsthand what it’s like to see how women will prioritize everyone else before themselves. The four of them are not only mothers but also the primary breadwinners of their families. That means family and work come first and everything else that personally benefits them a very distant second. The facts below should hit home for everyone because you’re either a woman reading this or you know women in your life who experience the following:
The stats surrounding women's brain health are eye-opening. Did you know, women make up two-thirds of the world's Alzheimer's patients? Or that women over the age of 60 are twice as likely to develop Alzheimer's than breast cancer? Caring for my mother who is stricken with brain cancer further drives home the message that Make Time Wellness has set out to promote.
The founders have graciously provided me a code for friends and family to save 20% on supplements formulated specifically for women to improve their "brain, body, and beauty - in that order."
MAKETIME WELLNESS
Code: QUOC20
"The slower we move, the faster we die."
RYAN BINGHAM | "Up In the Air"
A recent study...
Showed that two years of vigorous exercise performed at least 30 minutes, 4-5x per week, and including one HITT session resulted in significant reduction in left ventricular chamber and myocardial stiffness.
Some details...
The average age of the non-control participants was 53 years old (45% men and 55% women).
Intensity and frequency gradually increased; by the end of six months, participants were working out 5-6 hours per week mostly in Zone 3 (~70% of their heart rate max).
Resulting in...
A reversal in the aging of their hearts, making it more like a 30-year-old's.
Two take-aways:
Exercise is medicine.
You're never too old.
Source: Reversing the Cardiac Effects of Sedentary Aging in Middle Age - A Randomized Controlled Trial
RIDE THE BIKE!
You've all heard me yell this at you in the middle of a set, "Pedal! Pedal! Ride the bike!" and I'm not even sure all of y'all even know what I'm talking about (I don't blame you, I have a lot of Quoc-isms).
Which is the best way to not fall off a bike?
A. Balancing in place
B. Riding the bike
"For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them."
Nietzsche
I often see a lot of hesitation when someone performs a new exercise or one that requires a lot of stability. A lot of time "trying to figure it out". If you move too slow, you'll fall over. If you go too fast, it's hard to control. Just like riding a bike, movement (or any other skill) is best learned by going at a nice steady pace. The more you do it, the better you'll get at it, and the faster you can do it. I always say, "the key to all mastery is repetition" but going forward I'll say "the key to all purposeful mastery is steady and progressive repetition." The best way to learn anything is by doing. As it pertains to fitness, you gotta move even if it isn't perfect (don't let perfect be the enemy of progress). Your body will always eventually figure it out; and if it doesn't, that's what I'm here for.
So how do we extrapolate the analogy of riding a bike to other realms of our life? Is there a new hobby you want to get into or a new business you want to start but you don't know how to begin? Just pedal and ride the bike. You might fall off a few times along the way but pedal long enough and you'll go very far.
"Time is what we want most but what we use worst."
- WILLIAM PENN
One of the most poignant things ever said to me was by the Buddhist monk who presided over my father's funeral 15 years ago. Speaking to me in Vietnamese, he said "When a stick of incense is burned, we expect it to burn to completion. But there are times where the burn stops a quarter of the way down or maybe halfway down. We cannot determine when the burn stops and thus, like life, we cannot predict when our time on Earth ends."
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
SENECA
Shoshin, the beginner's mindset.
A Zen Buddhist concept known as Shoshin refers to "having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying, even at an advanced level, just as a beginner would. It's the counter to the hubris and closed-mindedness often associated with thinking of oneself as an expert."
When you're not the smartest person in the room, you're more approachable and relatable. You can take more chances, make mistakes, fail miserably, ask stupid questions, and no one will judge you for it. Anyone remember the kid in elementary school who had all the answers? Jeez, how annoying was that kid? (I know, I was him <cringe>) You can replace smartest with any other adjective and it would still ring true. I don't want to be the strongest, fastest, or most athletic person in my gym. I want to be surrounded by people who consistently push me because they're better than me.
Being the "-est" at anything is boring. Being challenged mentally and physically, that's what keeps us pursuing our goals. In jiu-jitsu, I don't want to beat up a bunch of novice white belts all day. But rolling with a black belt who invokes the feeling of "please don't kill me but also make me feel as if I might not live", now that's thrilling! Winning all the time time? Boring.
I know working out can feel frustrating at times, especially when you feel the exercises I prescribe are the equivalent of simultaneously patting your head and rubbing your belly. Or when you feel like your heart wants to jump out of your chest. Or when it's too heavy. Or when I don't give you enough rest.
Well... IF IT DOESN'T CHALLENGE YOU, IT DOESN'T CHANGE YOU.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
I absolutely love the above quote by Rumi. So often when we encounter setbacks, we can't help but focus on the negative. I'll be the first to admit that I'm typically not a glass half-full kinda guy. I have to constantly remind myself that every setback is a setup for a comeback. I can't even count the number of setbacks I've experienced: in business, life, love, friendship and health... but guess what? I'M. STILL. HERE. Learning, growing, getting better, getting worse before getting better, not giving up. Focusing on what I can do and not what I can't.
Oftentimes, we are so focused on not losing that we lose focus on winning. History rarely remembers who loses but we always remember who wins. I know Michael Phelps won 23 Olympic gold medals but I sure as hell can't tell you who he beat. We remember Oscars winners but not who they won against. Can you tell me who the Chicago Bulls beat in all six of their NBA Championships? History doesn't remember the losers... well, except for the Nazis (fuck those guys). Those guys were terrible, no good, and very bad. At the end of the day, no one, including yourself, will remember the losses, as long as you focus on the wins along the way.
Without a doubt, the biggest wound I've experienced this past year was my mother's cancer prognosis. I was so focused on being a dutiful Asian son and showing sadness and being solemn. Well, newsflash to me... it is possible to be both sad and happy at the same time. To feel indebted and grateful. These things aren't mutually exclusive.
I want to express my deepest gratitude to you all for being by my side this past year as I navigated the intricacies of time and the preciousness of life. Thank you for showing me patience and grace, for lending a shoulder and an ear, but most importantly for giving me your hearts as well. This whole recap was inspired by you... clients turned friends turned family. Throughout the year, your patience and understanding, words of wisdom, and in many cases, tough love, helped lift the cloud that rained on me for the past two years. You made me laugh when I was angry, you allowed me to cry when I was frustrated, and you made me feel when I was numb. I continue to be inspired by and learn from you on a daily basis. You all have been a part of the Light that has entered my deepest wound.
Thank you thank you thank you!
Love you all.